On spoilt friendships

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          Why do we have this conception of true love as unconditional? I have been thinking a lot about relationships, friendships in particular and how people weave in and out of your life.

 There have been some women (girls at the time) whose absence from my life I couldn't envision-- they were my blood, my best friends. And now, I have no idea what their life is like or who they are sharing it with. Frankly, I don’t really care. 

           I’m starting to view friendships like really expensive sweaters that you invest so much in thinking it is a timeless piece (who doesn’t want to hang on to cashmere?). But sometimes sweaters shrink in the wash, go out of style or simply get lost in the abyss of your closet. Friendships are not like couture, where if it doesn’t fit perfectly it is a disaster. No, friendships you can hold on to like old sweaters, pulling them out every once and a while to see if they still fit and recognizing they have served their time. 

          Perhaps sweaters aren’t a good example because that denotes using friends as means to keep us warm or some other motive. Friendships are reciprocal ends, or they should be. It is difficult to recognize when someone isn’t quite ‘fitting’ in your life anymore. You can still connect with them by virtue of an older version of the two of you that can be summoned depending on environmental circumstances. 

             I feel like people never lose their connections with one another, people are dynamic and always shifting their perspectives, themselves. When you get ‘out of touch’ with someone it just means the part of them you resonated with is no longer a big hitter in the playbook. Friendships are never in vain; perhaps these individuals needed each other to express one stage of their lives and ready themselves for the next. Distance in one relationship could be opening a place in your heart for new positive energies from individuals who complement you dynamic space at the time. 

              It is sad when things end violently; when someone chooses to spoil a special bond with immature emotional violence. This is especially common among females; friendships can turn to archenemies of jealousy. Jealousy is really love on its hindside; for to truly envy someone is to know their amiable qualities and be fearful of their potential instead of supporting it. It is nice when you get those last gasps from people you love, last gasps of laughter and memories; these are things we should respect, not spoil.