August 1, 2010--1 Day prior to departure from India
Kendall Madame,
I'm sitting at the Environmental Sanitation Institute in Ahmedabad, Gujarat, India. There's a lanky dog resting beside me, giant ants crawling under the arches of my knees, huge bees, tropical greens and flowering tress--images and messages from Ghandiji. The sounds of children playing and birds chirping. I sit in the shade, in heat you probably cannot fathom. Yet I've become accustomed. Ah! isn't that the beauty of our species--to habituate, to make the most of our situations. Even to learn to be patient with the flies is a grand lesson to take home from India.
Patience Kendall, a valuable lesson indeed. By now society has filtered your brain with schedules, materialism and skewed body image. But pause, take a breath. Take note of the space you are in--the air that you breath. Close your eyes and remember the drums from Manav Sadhna prayer. The power of voices chanting Ohm, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti--Peace, Peace, Peace. Remember the rambunctious children of Taltej primary school who held your hand and called you 'Didi.'
Don't be jaded by the abundance of the alternate reality America thrusts upon you. Stay true to yourself. Life is not all work, enjoy the little things.
I hope you are still incorporating pure LOVE into your life. Don't waste your time with malicious interactions or petty grievances. Cast off other people's perception of you. Their thoughts only affect you if you allow it.
I do not know what kind of state of mind you are in or the worries in your heart, but please be centered on your inner beauty. Remember the month when you wore no makeup, didn't shave, hardly showered, sweated buckets, never worked out, ate abundantly because food was energy, when tea brought people together. Remember having dance parties in the back of the car and being on India time.
You were unplugged.
Please consider the relativity of time. Here I am, at the end of my journey in India. When I can close my eyes and remember tipsily writing the night before I left and love and the Lassen sisters.
Here you are, in your own space and time. A list of things to do, im sure. Lots of worries on your mind: parties, clothes, sex, boys, body, school, grades, family, friends.
Remember Jemna at RamRahim. Remember Kamraben and Kamleshbhai, their kids. Are they still alive? Are they in the same slums?
Where are you? Where is your soul? Are you feeling how you wish you were? If you are feeling bad, Why? Is that realy an issue?
Always question yourself, but be patient with the answer. Everything comes when it must, a life must not be rushed--it will rush itself. Don't let life become a pile of paper achievements. Remember random acts of kindness.--(Rina just brought me a fresh Limca) Always consider the good in people. Always consider the good in yourself.
Don't jump to think your answer is right. Often times your are wrong. I hope you never come to think that fun and bonding can only be had when substances taper the awkwardness. Never mistrust the value in an awkward moment. I believe true relationships are built upon embarrassment and exposure of vulnerabilities. People imbibe to alter their reality and avoid the silence, the upsets, the annoyances--but it is in these normal, human interactions that the best memories are made, the strongest bridges fused. Why do you think we value childhood so? There is nothing clearer than a childhood memory. Before societal ideals, self-talk, and substances dilute the divine experience. Comfortability is built upon being uncomfortable. Don't judge others too quickly. You could never fathom their story just as they could never understand yours. Chances are, they've gone through some hairy shit aswell.
Life is built upon contradictions, be patient with them--seek to find a happy medium.
and love, love, love yourself.
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