I don't know if you ever truly 'get your bearings' as a foreigner in India, but after my 8 week stint and counting, I definitely have a few 'how-to' survival tips, especially for female travelers.
Rule #1- Always go to the bathroom when it is available.
Seriously, India isn't the kind of country where you can stop on the side of the road; not even the high courthouse for the state of Tamil Nadu has bathrooms inside! And either Indian women all have bladder infections or they are camels because I never see them needing to use the toilet. Even after tromping around all over Chennai with Trupti, a fellow social worker from Orissa, in North India, for the entire day--she didn't use the bathroom once. Granted, she didn't eat or drink much either, but just a warning, always have a plan. Also, bring your own toilet paper. If you are in touristy areas, the bathrooms may have some at least in the nice hotels, but if you are in true India and you need TP--carry a purse.
Rule #2- If you have the means, upgrade to A/C.
Don't underestimate the intensity of this country's climate. It is physically and emotionally demanding. Usually in hotels, the rooms with A/C are only a couple hundred rupees more--no less than $10.00. Before coming here I was determined to live like the locals and only have the basic amenities, but then I realized that I, too, have limits and when it is available, A/C in 110 degree heat makes me an easier person to be around.
Rule #3- Always be prepared for hours-long delays, or in other words, bring snacks.
'Indian time' is a reputable phenomenon. Everything happens at a slower and unexpected rate, especially meals. If you are spending time, truly with the locals, you will often be taken on excursions without them telling you where you are going or for how long or what to expect; it is always safer to bring snacks if you don't feel comfortable eating street food or get 'hangry' easily. Indian people also don't eat dinner till around 8:30-9 or later, but they usually have a light snack around 5 with tea. I am often tempted to gorge myself at tea-time out of anxiety that there won't be food for ages or because I didn't get a chance to eat lunch. Trust me, it is better to save your appetite for the delicious dinners and get on the Indian schedule of eating. We all go to bed with full bellies.
Rule #4- If you don't like spicy food, don't come to India.
Sorry, not sorry.
Rule #5- Public transportation is well worth exploring.
If you are staying in one place for some time, at least a month or so, you should get to know the bus and train systems. They are efficient and (usually) on-time. Most locals are eager to help--if you simply ask, they will point you in the right direction. Beware: out of Indian courtesy, people will never tell you, "I don't know," and they will spin bullshit so be sure to ask a few different people until you get some confident responses.
Rule #6- Get used to your personal bubble being obliterated.
Public transportation is a great segue into this topic--India is crowded! Everywhere you go will be packed with people and if you are blessed with a Western stature, you will tower over a sea of black heads shining with coconut oil. People will bump into you, push you, rush for a space on the train and shove to get into a store--this is not considered rude, it is just the way you have to operate to get things done. Be assertive in your walk, the way you hold your space. And always find the ladies cart on the train or the ladies section in the bus. That way, when you are jammed, at least you'll be jammed against womanly bits and not be worried about getting groped. In reality, being polite gets you nowhere in India.
Not only is it physically crammed but the culture itself is very touchy feely, especially within genders. When an Indian person likes you, if you are of the same gender and you most likely will be seeing at inter-gender interaction is kept at a minimum, they will be very affectionate, verbally and physically. Just go along with it! In Shantaram, a book by Gregory David Roberts, he writes a little excerpt on this in a dialogue between characters,
"' No, no, you do not understand. You must be careful, here, with the real affection of those you meet. This is not like any other place. This is India. Everyone who comes here falls in love--most of us fall in love many times over. And the Indians, they love most of all....That is how they manage to live together, a billion of them, in reasonable peace. They are not perfect, of course. They know how to fight and lie and cheat each other, and all the things that all of us do. But more than any other people in the world, the Indians know how to love one another.'
He paused to light a cigarette, and then waved it like a little flagpole until the waiter noticed him and nodded to his request for another glass of vodka.
'India is about six times the size of France,' he went on, as the glass of alcohol and a bowl of curried snacks arrived at our table. 'But it has almost twenty times the population. Twenty times! Believe me, if there were a billion Frenchmen living in such a crowded space, there would be rivers of blood. Rivers of blood! And, as everyone knows, we French are the most civilized people in Europe. No, no, without love, India would be impossible.'"--(Ch 4 pg.85)
*Btw, I highly recommend this book to anyone traveling to India. It is thrilling and will give you a good grasp on the culture before you go. Better yet, read it while you are here and giggle at his accurate descriptions of silly nuances in culture.
Rule #7- Don't even think about bringing your 500 and 1000Rs bills into the market.
Indians love exact change. So much so that if you hand someone a hundo, even for an item that costs over 50Rs, you will definitely get a roll of the eyes or they may simply turn you away, expecting you to return with the correct change. Even train stations have big signs at the ticket counter saying, "Exact Change Only." So go to the bank and get smaller bills, 10s, 20s, and 100s are the best bills to have.
Rule #8- Don't even trust the water at the Hilton.
It's all deadly.
Rule #9- When in doubt with tipping, a 10 or 20 should suffice for any service. I got many smily waiters after I routinely tipped like I do in the states, but I was told by a local that this is unnecessary, although always appreciated.
Rule #10-Get used to being a haggard mess.
Yes, you will be sweaty, greasy, and unkempt while all other Indian women will be flawlessly wrapped in a clean neon or pastel colored sari, smelling of fresh jasmine, dripping in gold jewelry without so much as a bead of sweat on their brow---get over it. Besides, they are all jealous of your white skin, so there.
Rule #11- The rice to sauce ratio is key for Indian style eating.
Yes, at one point you will be forced to eat with your right hand; just watch how the people around you smush and ball up their rice/saucy combo and plop it into their mouths. You will look like a small child with rice on your chin and stains on your kurti; those around you will stare or giggle, but hey, you're trying.
Rule #12- Know your boundaries.
India is an exhausting place, physically, mentally, socially, emotionally. Take your time with the country and its sometimes pushy people. India welcomes you like a family member and in that respect, sometimes it will annoy the hell out of you and inspire wondrous heartfelt connection in one fell swoop. Be sure to take space, and rest so you don't get burned out. After being here for a while I recognized how private of a person I am, in that I need my time to just simply 'be' in a quiet room to collect my thoughts or unwind. It's a cultural thing, people will respect you if you voice your needs.
Most of all, you shouldn't be so scared of the place that you don't experience it. I mean, feeling sick or losing valuables or getting in a fight with a rickshaw driver over the tariff is all a part of the journey. Keep your humor about you and recognize the lesson in every screw-up. If you open your heart to India, you will be amazed at what this country and its people will give in return.
*Top 12 things to always have in your purse:
1. hand sani, obvi. Locals look at you like a crackpot, but sometimes you gotta look like an idiot to not get sick.
2. TP or baby wipes unless you want to go local, which is honestly more sustainable. Hey, where do you think the French got the idea for a bedé?
3. bandana for sweat and other random needs
4. advil--the heat here always gives me headaches, as does dehydration and many other common travelers issues. You'll be glad you have it.
5. dramamine--if not for the crazy driving, you'll need it to calm your nerves on a 12 hour bus ride sans A/C with blaring Bollywood music.
6. earplugs.....not earphones, although those are important aswell. Earplugs are essential when you are traveling by bus or train for long amounts of time--India is very loud.
7. small notebook and pen to write down helpful phrases people teach you, addresses, phone numbers, etc.
8. waterbottle....although you green folks will definitely have to get over buying bottled water. Sometimes you just have to. It is cheap and easier to get than filling up your own waterbottle in the cities. Just remember, India has a higher recycling rate than the U.S.--perhaps that will quell your irks.
9. small plastic bag to put trash in; there are no trashcans anywhere and I still cannot bring myself to litter like the locals. Of course the irony in saving your trash is that the maid who cleans your room is simply dumping it on the side of the streets anyways, but hey whatever helps us sleep at night, right?
10. a map of where ever the hell you are
11. pepper spray- I have honestly never been in a situation in India where I felt truly in danger, except maybe driving on sketchy roads in the Himalayas, but as a woman you really can never be too safe and pepper spray handy helps on those nights when you end up being out at night by yourself.
12. passport sized photos of yourself and a copy of your drivers license, passport, and/or visa-- India uses passport sized photos for so many random things: getting a SIM card, going into certain government buildings or courthouses, sometimes getting a train ticket. Just stock up on them and have em handy so you don't have to go through the trouble of finding a local photography shop to take them for you here, although I'm sure it's way cheaper. Hotels often ask for a copy of your passport and visa, so having them is handy if you don't want to bring your passport on every weekend outing.
*Top 12 things I packed:
1. Heat resistant probiotics and pepto-chewables are your new PB&J-- your belly will thank you. Take them even if you feel fine.
2. Manduka travel yoga mat. If you're here for extended periods of time, this is great because it is probably the only exercise you will get. Plus, there are ashrams and yoga studios everywhere! Be warned: leave your tight ass lululemons and Bikram crop-tops at home unless you plan on getting visually (or perhaps physically) molested before, during, or after class.
3. SD card converter for computer or Ipad- this way you can steal or share fellow travelers pics easily, especially when you forget your camera like me.
4. Burts-bee's face wipes- things get real grimy down here.
5. DivaCup- lets get real ladies. I became a convert after my first trip to India, just trust me. Also, there are no tampons in India, you heard me, NONE. Unless you are at a swanky supermarket in Mumbai, don't expect it.
6. Bronner's soap- for laundry, hand wash, face wash, I hear you can even brush your teeth with it? super convenient.
7. compression bags- especially if your in a backpack. Easy way to crumple all of your clothes down.
8. travel sheet- this has let me sleep sound in many a shady bed arrangements.
9. headlamp and/or small lantern. I use both regularly as power is not reliable in India, especially in Tamil Nadu.
10. Phase10 or your favorite card game. There is a lot of leisure time here and games are a great way to pass the time or get to know those around you. Bring something that is easy enough to be taught in the face of language barriers.
11. Pics of your friends, family, and home-town. Everyone will ask you about your family, pictures make them feel even more connected to you and will build rapport.
12. Watermelon sour patch kids to remind you of home before you become a total convert for Indian candy and ubiquitous biscuits. hint: try the little chocolate eclairs.
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